Birthday

I entered my 63rd year a few days ago. What did I get? The most important work there is. My ex-daughter-in-law and my son agreed I'm the best one to take care of their children right now. He's working to get ahead in the field of long odds, film production. She's in pre-law and probably about to go through a messy divorce from her second husband. My eldest son and husband have been working to make this a four-bedroom house for days. I promised the boy who's about to be a teenager he would not have to share a bedroom with his about-to-be-nine brother. They're helping me keep the promise.

My wonderful high-desert writer's retreat is now a long busride to school that means a five AM wakeup. Loads and loads of laundry, fixing meals and getting kids to do homework and to bed on time now have priority over the writing. The kids have problems. Just because they're 'typical manifestations of problems at home' doesn't mean they're easy. I've got major self-esteem construction work to do on all three. Blame-throwing and fault-finding are terrible habits and all three are attention-competitive. Mom just had too much 'on her plate' and I'm prepping daily self-esteem injections for her too. My sons are both good help in every way they can be, but the put-dinner-on-the table of both is tied to the depressed real estate market and they're barely getting by.

I'm not complaining. I knew what I was getting into when I asked for it. It was such a hard decision for their mom. She's got a whole lot of you're-a-wife-and-mom-or-nothing cultural baggage from her childhood. I'm proud of her. She made the decision she thinks is best for her children. That's a good mom. I had to make the same one when I was in my twenties. My boys' closeness to me now is the best reassurance we can give her that children never forget you made the best decisions for them that you could, no matter how hard.

I've got a long way to go to bring these kids up to healthy self-confidence and goal-setting and achievement. They can't make breakfast together without fighting over who gets to pour milk first. It's far in excess of the 'usual' sibling rivalry. At least now each has personal space. Of course, I do have to continually enforce the sanctity of it. I have constant 'that's-mine' battles that are not 'age equivalent,' more like dealing with three five-year-olds than 13, 12 and 9. I've got three way below age-normal for the development of critical thinking. I have to get cracking on that one. Brain development in puberty is specifically in the interconnectivity of ideas and that's critical thinking.

So, a little fun with a birthday tarot reading online and back to work helping the kids feel like they're 'really home.' We can squeak by in these hard economic times. I did plan for them. I've got a few changes to the plan and the budget will be a lot tighter, but nothing is more important than a child and these are family too. I expect wonderful rewards for my hard work. I intend to smugly attend at least four university graduations, starting with their mom's in 2010.